Cancer, take a hike!

At the age of 9, I found out that my grandmother (then 63) had been diagnosed with melanoma skin cancer. I knew it was killing her – and I needed to understand it – so I began reading medical journals at that young age. I needed to make sense of what was happening to my dear “Nita Mae” from whom I take my middle name. I remember still how she used to call me “Corinna Mae” in that sweet drawl of hers any time she wanted to get my attention. She was a wonderful woman – a strong woman – an athletic woman – who just spent too much time enjoying the sun for her pale Dutch skin to handle. She was gone within the year. Cancer has always been a four letter word for me, ever since I understood what it meant. But that didn’t stop me from becoming a smoker when I was only 13. I knew it was bad for my health, that it could even give me cancer if I kept at it long enough, but I always thought “I’ll quit before it has a chance to sink it’s teeth in”. The trouble is that having smoked from that young age, I had associated it with my identity as an “adult” so much that I just couldn’t picture myself without a cigarette. The addiction was beyond physical. Then, in 2004 my aunt was diagnosed with uterine cancer – and I had my wakeup call. I was 27 and so began a 2 year struggle to quit smoking while my aunt Billie struggled to endure cancer. I kicked my bad habit, but cancer doesn’t always provide an out, and Billie passed. In October of 2007 Sean Keily was diagnosed with stage 4 Leukemia & Lymphoma, and he passed in June of 2008. His story is best told at www.savegobo.com though you can also find information about him on this site in my inspiration section.

Last week, I received an e-mail. The subject line read: RIP Andrea Cox (pictured). All I could do was read the subject line over and over for the next 10 minutes. No scam, just a link to a site where I could read about her treatment, her life, and her passing:

http://home.comcast.net/~andrea_allen/site/?/page/Medical_Updates/

In high school she was one of my closest friends at a time when nothing made sense but the company we kept. A time when figuring out our station in life was the only quest we knew. The first time I saw her in 15 years was last Saturday, beautifully made up in a casket with friends and family near. We each talked about “our Andrea” her verve, her zest, ultimately – her life. At the end of the service, I got up and read a poem she wrote for me when we were 15 or 16. I have included it here so you can read it too. I am rocked to the core by her passing and still don’t know what more to say, except that I wish cancer would just take a hike! Until it does, neither will I.

Andrea Rebecca Allen née Cox died of angiosarcoma, a rare type of breast cancer that attacks the blood vessels and then took residence in her spine. She was only 32.